Friday, September 30, 2011

I Will Give Myself

Today in one of my devotionals, the scripture reference was Psalm 109:4b- I will give myself unto prayer.   I thought of wedding vows. I will give myself. We stand before God and man and vow to love one another. We promise to stay together forever.

Most of you are probably thinking of your marriage at this moment, but I thought of Jesus. I am my Beloved's and He is mine, so, we exchange vows.
"Do you lay down your life?"
"I do."
"Will you die to yourself?"
"I will."

We speak to one another, Jesus and I, "I take you to be my Beloved. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us...join." I look forward to the day this veil of flesh is parted and I see Him face to face. Even though, I am one with Him and He has promised we will never part.

I have proclaimed, "I do. I take this Man into my heart...forever." He consummated the marriage on the cross. His blood was spilled to bring me into union with Him and His Father. His Father is now my Father. He has prepared a place for me and it is in Him. For it is in Him I live, and move, and have my being! The other half of the miracle is that He is also alive in me.

He knows my heart for He looks on my heart and I open up to Him. I tell Him in prayer, "Lord, You are my heart's desire. You Who put Your desires within my heart. There are so many people and so many prayers carried together in my heart where You dwell. It sometimes seems a jumbled up mess to me. What to pray? What to ask? You say to ask and I would receive and my joy would be full. I long to lay everything before You wrapped up in the perfect prayer for each person and every circumstance of need, or lack, or want, or desire." My words are feeble.

Of blind Bartimeus Jesus asked, "What wilt thou that I should do unto thee?"
"What is your will? What do you want Me to do for you?"
My will? I can only say, "Thy will be done."

Why am I so afraid to ask? Is it because I am not all wise, all powerful, ever present, and all knowing of the future ramifications of what I have asked for today? I can only say with Ezekiel, "Only Thou Lord knowest." What else can I say? For His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His ways are higher than my ways. What do I know? I am but dust. But I ask.

Lord, breathe on me and I shall live. I shall rise up from the dust and dance before you and worship you as I love You; with all my heart, and all my mind, and all my strength. It is Your breath in  my lungs that allows me to praise Your holy Name. Apart from You I am nothing...only dust. Every dream, every hope, every vision comes from You and through You to me. My dreams are Yours, they belong to You. Fulfill Your will for me through me.

He touches my heart, my mind, and my soul as a raindrop touches the waters, as deep calling unto deep. The affect of His touch ripples through my life. Substance marrying substance, never to be seperated. For it is impossible to seperate the rain from the sea. I pray to be that much at one with Him, to not know where I end and He begins. So, I ask.

And as I ask, I think of the one He gave me, the one I prayed for God to send. He sent him. He is perfect for me. He is more than I asked for. He loves me as Christ loves me. God confirmed it, that he was the one, and we said our vows. And I pray to be so much at one with him that I can't tell where I end and he begins. So, I will give myself. And a three-fold cord is not quickly broken. (Eccl. 4:12)

Two, saith He, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. (1Corinthians 6:16b-17)

Still Dwelling in Him,

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