Holy Spirit is working in my heart. I feel Him. He is going deeper now; touching places, digging around where I had things buried. Things that I thought were dead and gone. My heart has been so very raw for several weeks now. He is teaching me, molding me, purifying me. It never stops, really. He is teaching me to be more like Jesus and so many times EVERY DAY I see where I fall short. Trust is an issue of mine.
You have to reach out to people, let them into your life...your heart. You must let them in that you may learn to love deeper and purer and truer. In His presence, I hear Him say, "Lay down your life."
Did You say that Lord? But people hurt, wound, reject, betray and use. "I don't care. Lay down your life." Yes, I know God loves me and cares for me. I also understood what He meant. God held back nothing to reach this world. He gave us Jesus. I must be willing to give my all to my Lord for I was bought with a price.
"Lay down your life." Jesus was always mobbed by people. He had what they needed. Yet, His heart led Him to the mountains...apart...to pray, to be with His Father in silence and solitude. He had to be filled before He could pour out. God with us, in flesh, going to His Father God. How do we think we can make it through one day apart from that blessed fellowship? "Lay down your life."
We are but dust. Clay. An earthen vessel saturated in God's Spirit, filled with His Truth. We are to look like Him, live like Him, and love like Him. We have the Bread of Life within us. We cannot hoard it as the children of Isreal attempted to do with the manna. Someone is hungry today and we have the source of Life living within us. We cannot keep it hidden away in our vessels, it will be no good tomorrow. We are not promised tomorrow.
" Lay down your life." What is my life? It is but a vapor that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away. (Jas. 4:14) A vapor, a mist, a cloud that is here, then gone. I pray the vapor of my life is like a sweet fragrance to my Lord. The fragrance of life unto life amoung those who are close enough to me to catch the aroma of Christ in my life. "Lay down your life."
My thoughts turn to my Zoegirl. She seems to have lost sight in her left eye. A couple weeks ago, I noticed it was swollen and she refused to open it. I took her to the vet, he couldn't find any injury and could only guess that she may have been bitten by an insect. We put the prescribed drops in her eye but I'm not so sure they are doing any good. I am praying for her.
She stays closer to me now and has become even more protective of me, and I of her. I have been pouring out even more affection on her. This morning God spoke to my heart, "You love her even more because of her weakness."
Her weakness has drawn her closer to me, just as ours should draw us closer to God. I have even more compassion for her because of her blindness. God uses her to teach me, "But please, God heal her." I prayed.
God doesn't push us away because of our blindness, deafness, lameness, or weakness. No, He draws us closer to Himself. I once was blind, but now I see. "Lay down your life."
Jesus said, "I lay down My life that I may take it again." So, I lay down my life that He may take it....again! For when I am weak, THEN am I strong for I draw even closer to Him. In His presence I hear Him saying, "Lay down your life. It's not your life anymore, you belong to Me. So, I am once again relinquishing my rights to myself. It is a constant struggle to keep that old dead "man" buried. I am a new creation.
It doesn't matter what we've done or where we have been, when we turn to God He opens the doors to His heavenly home and says, "Come live in Me, all I have is yours. Make yourself at home in my heart." Should I not also be like my Father and open the doors to my heart! What are the consequences? Pain? Yes. Rejection? Yes. Betrayal? Yes. More love and joy than I have ever known in the midst of all of that? Definately, YES! Even if others don't love, He always loves. He IS Love!
I hear Him say, "Come live in Me, let Me live in you. I am all you cannot be. You are never complete apart from Me.....
LAY DOWN YOUR LIFE. IT WILL BE WORTH IT!!!
Some of what is written in this post is from my personal journal dated August 20th. This was before my Zoegirl, my pet Akita, left this world. I wrote a guest post about Zoe on Stephanie's blog. See Zoe's Story